As always, Mamatha Subbaiah has written from her heart. CLN has always considered the issue of responsible care for Elders a very serious issue for Kodavas and the future of Kodagu. Ever since our joint family system evolved into “nuclear” units, this problem should have been anticipated.
The issue gets exacerbated with many affluent children staying abroad or in distant cities. The elders are then forced to outsource the management of their properties to unscrupulous “outsiders” whose primary objective would be to optimize their profits to the detriment of the longer term health of the plantations. Wetlands go fallow without exception.
A more involved community solution needs to be worked out where property management by good Kodava Professionals and a concept of Joint Family type of gated communities be created for older Kodavas to live with familiar kinsmen in each Naad or Keri. This is exactly where organizations like Akhila Kodava Samaja with like minded initiatives from Jabhoomi and others should work hand-in-hand. – CLN Newsdesk
This column is inspired by the moving article “The Precious Presence of Elders“ published in Coffeeland News, which stirred deep reflection on how we, as a society, are slowly drifting away from those who once stood as our strongest pillars.
In every society, Elders are the pillars of wisdom, experience, and tradition. They have walked life’s toughest paths, faced battles we can never imagine, and laid the foundation on which we build our futures. Yet, in today’s fast-paced world, their presence is often overlooked, their voices unheard, and their needs neglected.
When I look at the Elders in my community, I see living libraries of wisdom, strength, and sacrifice. They are the ones who walked miles so that we could live in comfort, who sowed seeds of love, discipline, and values in us. And yet, I often wonder: Are we giving them the same care and respect they truly deserve?
There is no sight more heartbreaking than an old-age home. The silent corridors, the wrinkled faces, the weary eyes waiting for a visit that rarely comes – they speak of a loneliness that no comfort can cure. Behind every Elder lies a story of sacrifice and devotion, yet in their twilight years, many are left to live with strangers, far away from the warmth of their own families.
As a daughter of Kodagu, this truth pains me even more. We Kodavas have always placed our Elders at the heart of our families. Our Ainmanes, the ancestral homes, were sacred spaces that came alive because of our Elders. They were the ones who guided the rituals, blessed the gatherings, and reminded us of our roots. Their very presence gave our homes a soul.
But times are changing. Many of our younger generation are leaving Kodagu for opportunities elsewhere, while our Elders are left behind. Some, with aching hearts, are placed in old-age homes. For a community like ours, known for its deep respect toward Elders, this trend is alarming. The Ainmane once echoed with the voices of our ancestors; now many of our Elders face silent rooms far away from their families. It is not just their loneliness, it is a reflection of our failing values.
When families send them away for convenience, we are not just abandoning them; we are erasing the very essence of our culture. We must ask ourselves: What are we teaching the next generation? If children grow up watching their grandparents being sent away, will they hesitate to do the same to us tomorrow?
Old-age homes should never become the easy answer. They should remain a last resort, not a trend. Our Elders cared for us when we were helpless; now it is our turn to care for them in their twilight years.
I write this with a plea to my own people. Let us not let our Elders fade into loneliness. Let us bring them back into the warmth of our homes. Let us sit by their side, listen to their stories, and seek their blessings while we still can. For one day, when they are gone, no success, no wealth, no digital distraction will ever fill the emptiness their absence leaves behind.
For Kodavas, the presence of Elders is not just precious – it is sacred. It is the very soul of our land. Let us guard it with all our heart.
My grandmother was the most curious cat I’ve ever seen, but curiosity didn’t kill her. Instead, it made her bloom—till the very end. Which is why I truly believe in the power of curiosity and that it can easily trump the atrophy that ageing comes with. From the time we’re born right till the very end, we remain lifelong learners. We wonder, we crave, we explore, and we discover—often taking us where imagination alone can’t.
And that’s where experience has a major role to play. The older generation have – in most cases, learnt from their mistakes, which is what “experience” is all about. Learn from other people’s mistakes and who better to hear it from – your grandparents!!
A community is judged by how it treats its Elders. For Kodavas, their presence is not just valued but sacred. Preserving their wellbeing is essential to preserving who we are.
A heartfelt salute to the author for capturing the fading dignity of our elders with such clarity and compassion with powerful simplicity Mamatha reminds us of sacred touth many over look.Her voice is not just writing, it is a call to conscience, and our society needs more of it.Thank you CLN for inviting such inspiring articles.
Yet another article on neglecting our elders, we are quietly erasing the wisdom that once shaped us. The article exposes how modern life is dimming the very presence that grounded our homes and values. It urges us to wake up ,restore dignity and honour the sacred generation we are slowly losing before the silence becomes irreversible. Beautifully written Mamatha. I always wait to read your inspiring peice.
Wow what a touching and emotional writeup by Mamtha. Those of us who don’t have elders at home will relate more to this article and also feel the pain.
Most of our parents were having multiple siblings compared to 1 what we have now which is slowly dwindling and becoming nil. This is a matter of serious concern for our community.
Yes I agree old age homes should be the LAST RESORT and definitely not a trend as Mamatha points out.
Well said, Mamatha. In earlier days elders were the founts of wisdom. Today, information (and wisdom) are freely available at the keyboards of devices…so young people feel that they don’t require the wisdom of the elders.